My first crybaby attack was when I drove to church by myself for the first time after the accident. It was a Wednesday night, and I was a block from Southwest Park. A kid in a small pickup in the other lane, had just passed me. Even though he was behind me, when he slammed on his brakes and skidded into someone's yard, anxiety hit. I waited until I parked at church before I lost it. Just the sound of that skid, brought it all back. I walked into our meal/prayer meeting sobbing. Everyone was so nice. Susan H. found me a place to sit, Susan W. brought me my food, Susan T. got my water. Numerous others came by to give me a hug. (we do have people NOT named Susan in our church, by the way....) Beth and Russell said they understood my fear. I cried all through prayer meeting, and continued it at home.
I still have difficulty when I see a white vehicle coming toward me, going too fast. I know that this is something that will eventually go away. Patience, dear Sharon, patience.
Meltdown #2 was today. My back is still 'stove up.' I cannot breathe without it hurting. Which, basically is all the time. My chiropractor has been working on it, but during and afterwards, I am in such severe pain, I have about decided it is not worth it. As he said, the car hit me head-on going 50 mph, and the airbag hit me going 100 mph, it is no wonder my back still hurts. Today, I had enough. After I left his office, I had a pity party. I drove home crying and praying. I suppose God is still wanting to teach me something through it. But, just between you and me, I am fed up. This constant pain, each time I breathe, each time I twist wrong, each time I happen to hit the two large hematomas that are left (which could take months to go away), well, I got to my breaking point. I came home and cried out to God for it to end soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment