Life IS change!

I asked my Wednesday evening prayer meeting family to pray about whether or not I need to move.  Within two days, I knew it was not in His will.  Ask Him, He will make it clear. Just make sure you are listening!!

So, I have decided to make some drastic changes in my home.  I will make the garage, (Thomas's room) back into a garage.  (no more hail damage on my car, and hopefully, I won't get robbed again.) People won't know if I am home or not.  Then, I am going to make my room into the guest room, and move into Luke's old room. Eventually, I will remodel my one bathroom.  I don't think making this home into a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, will make a difference in later years. (After I am walking the streets of gold....)  Every home around me is a rent house.  Since I am so close to McMurry, investors could buy it for students. Or, McMurry can bulldoze it, and make parking.

Also, I have been conversing with a Master Gardener.  I will be making my front and back yard into a xeriscape yard.  No mowing, just plants.  I will do it in several stages.  Hopefully the first stage in October, then as I have the money and energy.  I plan on completing it before next summer.



Another change:  Thomas is moving to Lubbock.  Praise God, he has an elementary teaching job!  He had a Skype interview with his principal.  (He adored her!)  Within an hour, he received a phone call from Personnel.  He was told that his principal, 'didn't know what he would be teaching, she just wants you on her campus.'  Hurrah!  Someone who sees how wonderful Thomas is, and what a great teacher he will be!  We drove up last week, and took the first place we looked at.  (Another God-thing)  His duplex is almost as big as my home.  However, HE has TWO bathrooms!  There is even a little backyard for Izzy, and a little patio area.  His walk-in closet is as big as my bathroom!  It is in a great neighborhood, and close to his school.  God is GREAT!!

Maybe Luke will even have some time to see me, when I go visit Thomas.  I can only pray.

Change:  As of this time next week, I will have hearing aids.  It is time.  Heredity, since my paternal grandmother had them, my daddy, even my brother.  Thomas is pleased....no more "What did you say?"  I must admit, I am even looking forward to them. More clarity, less feeling left out. 



Meltdown #2

Considering I have been in constant pain since May 26th, I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

My first crybaby attack was when I drove to church by myself for the first time after the accident.  It was a Wednesday night, and I was a block from Southwest Park.  A kid in a small pickup in the other lane, had just passed me.  Even though he was behind me, when he slammed on his brakes and skidded into someone's yard, anxiety hit.  I waited until I parked at church before I lost it.  Just the sound of that skid, brought it all back.  I walked into our meal/prayer meeting sobbing.  Everyone was so nice.  Susan H. found me a place to sit, Susan W. brought me my food, Susan T. got my water.  Numerous others came by to give me a hug.  (we do have people NOT named Susan in our church, by the way....)  Beth and Russell said they understood my fear.  I cried all through prayer meeting, and continued it at home. 

I still have difficulty when I see a white vehicle coming toward me, going too fast.  I know that this is something that will eventually go away.  Patience, dear Sharon, patience.

Meltdown #2 was today.  My back is still 'stove up.' I cannot breathe without it hurting.  Which, basically is all the time.  My chiropractor has been working on it, but during and afterwards, I am in such severe pain, I have about decided it is not worth it.  As he said, the car hit me head-on going 50 mph, and the airbag hit me going 100 mph, it is no wonder my back still hurts.  Today, I had enough.  After I left his office, I had a pity party.  I drove home crying and praying.  I suppose God is still wanting to teach me something through it.  But, just between you and me, I am fed up.  This constant pain, each time I breathe, each time I twist wrong, each time I happen to hit the two large hematomas that are left (which could take months to go away), well, I got to my breaking point.  I came home and cried out to God for it to end soon. 

I'm sure there will be more meltdowns before I am 'normal.'  

God truly saved me!

A month ago, on May 26^th, I knew I was about to die.  Looking up, while driving down South 14^th, I saw a white Crown Victoria heading straight for me.  Driving my little Honda Fit, I only had time to say, “God help me! “ then, the crash, the airbags, the windshield coming in on me.  As the airbags went down, I was frantic to get out of my car.  The engine was hissing, the airbags were deflated and hanging all around me, and I was sitting in glass.  I stumbled out of the car, but was unable to catch my breath.  I only had on one sandal, so I stood on one foot, on the hot pavement, leaning over, trying to breathe.  I didn’t realize until much later that the airbag hitting my chest so hard was the reason I could not breathe.  I was gasping for air, and nothing.  Standing there in the middle of South 14^th, I vaguely remember people stopping, cars all around, and thinking, “I’m going to pass out from no air, and get burned on this hot pavement.”  I recognized Scott Sims from Freedom Motors as he grabbed my elbow and asked where I hurt.  I pointed to my foot, and finally made it clear that I needed my other flip-flop.  He retrieved it for me, and then told me he was taking me to the bench on the corner. The whole time he walked me over, he was praying for me out loud.  I felt a peace come over me, knowing that he was sending prayers to my Father.   By the time I got to the bench, a small amount of air was finally making it into my lungs.  My entire torso hurt.  I couldn’t explain which part hurt the most, I could barely get any air in my lungs.  An off-duty Dyess paramedic came up behind me and held my neck still, just in case I had a back or neck injury. Another act of God.

I kept thinking, “I should hear sirens.  McMurry Fire Station is not far.  Why aren’t they here yet?”  I saw a police officer first. He asked very few questions.  Finally the firemen arrived. Eight minutes is a very long time when you are scared and in pain. They wanted to know where I hurt and all I could say was “everywhere.” 

Throughout the shock and pain, I kept looking at my car.  It was demolished.  I loved that car.  Strange things were going through my mind.  “How am I ever going to find another Fit like that?”  “I wish I had gotten my will notarized.”  “I need to let Thomas know.”  “I want Thomas here.”  When I asked the paramedic to call my son, he said, “Just let me get more information.”  A lady standing by asked what his number was, and called to leave a message. God put her there to help me, as well. 

Numerous people, who saw my car, couldn’t believe I walked away without a broken bone.  There is only one explanation for that…God wanted me to live.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, and pray, and ask God why I was spared, over the last three weeks.  I feel like a different person inside…a less angry person…a more relaxed person…a more listening-to-God person.  God has already shown me several things.

 1.) Its okay to be like everyone else.  Since being the only girl at a Boy Scout camp, I’ve felt like I had to ‘stand-out’.  Buying a blue Honda Fit is one way I did that.  Now, I have a ‘grown-up’ car that looks like everyone else’s.  I don’t have to be the center of attention; I don’t have to attract attention.  God needs to be the center of my attention, not me.

2.) It’s time to sell my house and move into a smaller, townhome or patio home.  My kids are grown, and I don’t need a huge yard, and two empty bedrooms that make me sad.  Luke is doing his own thing. Thomas is about to embark on a new life.  It is my turn to buy what I want, not what my kids need. 

3.) When I retire, I want to help Margaret with the Senior Ministry at church.  I was ‘trained’ in that area, worked as the City of Lubbock Senior Center Supervisor.  I feel that God is leading me in that direction.  I even mentioned to Margaret at church this morning, that I wanted to help her when I retire in four years.

4.)  I have more patience with Mom now.  She has trouble walking, is in constant pain, can’t do what she wants to.  The only difference is…I will get better.  She is 85 and won’t.

Malachi 3:6   I, the Lord, do not change…Since the time of your ancestors, you have disobeyed my rules, and have not kept them.  “Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord All Powerful.

Lord, I want to change. I feel like you are working on my heart and my mind each and every day.  Help me know Your Will.  Help me to follow you wherever you may lead me.  I trust in You.  I love You, and I know you want the best for me.  People say that You don’t give us more than we can handle, but that is not true.  You give us more than we can handle, so we can give it all to you.  You will carry it, you will handle it for us, and make us stronger on the other side.  I love you Lord.  I thank you for sparing my life.  I thank you for sending my Lord Jesus to die for me.  Amen.

Jesus is my man!!

Here it is, the day after Valentine's Day, and once again this year....no special man in my life. Oh, WAIT! WHAT am I saying? I have the GREATEST man of all in my life, in my heart and taking care of me each and every day! (Of course it would be nice to have a man with 'skin on." But until God sends me a strong Godly man, I would rather be alone.)

No matter how steep or treacherous the path before you, the safest place to be is by My side. Jesus Calling by Sarah Young